War Week

[mockmods]

[A week has gone and past, as has the first of your number. The Researcher revealing himself, more or less, by punishing Patches, the Trusty, for pushing an unclear boundary.]

[And yet, routine seems to have returned. The Researcher makes morning and evening announcements as if nothing has happened. Meals are served in the dining hall. The copies of Oregon Trail in the computer lab now have a text-only mode for some reason? Penny has not been seen since Friday, and attempts to access the Security Room have been fruitless.]

[But overall, life in the Facility has remained unchanged. But the atmosphere is getting tenser - sooner or later something is going to break.]

Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday Thursday

Comments

[boxtrot]

No, I think you're a horrible little sewer dweller.

[Spy doesn't turn around, which is probably his 7th big mistake during this whole ordeal, if you're keeping up at home.]

I hope to God you're not making them completely plain.

[gangplankgalleon]

I HAVE A FLAVOR PALETTE, YOU LITTLE WEASEL!

[its said as he is rolling it around in a tub filled to the brim with salt and vanilla sprinkles]

[boxtrot]

I have my doubts that the taste buds of a crocodile are the same as a human.

[still not looking]

[gangplankgalleon]

They’re SUPERIOR!

[spy wants it flavored? he’ll fuckin get it flavored. coffee grounds and pine needles are gently sprinkled in next before K. Rool drags this raw bowling ball meatball over to the oven, putting it in without turning the oven on.]

[boxtrot]

[Where the FUCK did he get pine needles

But fine, Ok. Sure. Spy turns around at the slam of the oven door and frowns.]

That was quick.

[gangplankgalleon]

Yes! I am the MASTER OF MEATBALLS!

[BUH HUH HUH!]

[boxtrot]

... Fine, then. Are you the master of sauce as well?

[The less work Spy has to do, the better as far as he's concerned]

[gangplankgalleon]

OF COURSE I AM, YOU INCOMPETENT! JUST HAVE ME DO ALL THE WORK, WHY DON’T YOU?!

[pouring ketchup into a saucepan.]

[boxtrot]

[Spy starts boiling water in a pot. He misses the actual pouring of the ketchup, but eventually glances over at the saucepan in horror.]

Pre-made sauce? we're not using that store-bought garbage, here, we're trying to win.

[Spy's competitive streak is starting to come out.]

[gangplankgalleon]

You point me to the tomatoes, henchman! There are none to be found!

[stirring the ketchup, adding garlic powder.]

[boxtrot]

[Spy looks around. Fuck. He's right. He curses under his breath.]

Fine. If we can't make it from scratch, it'll have to be the best damned storebought sauce these people have even tasted.

[He starts adding in some of the chopped vegetables, glancing occasionally at the pot of water.]

[gangplankgalleon]

PRECISELY! If they dare to say it isn’t fantastic, I’ll make them eat dirt! BUH HUH!

[adding an entire can of ginger. just all of it.]

[boxtrot]

[Spy completely misses this while adding the noodles to the pot.]

At least we agree on something.

[gangplankgalleon]

Of course we do! I am a most agreeable tyrant!

[with one final stroke, k. rool just puts an entire can of monster energy zero(c) in there.]

[boxtrot]

[With the noodles in the pot, there's not much more to do but wait around for stuff to finish cooking.

Spy finally looks around at the surrounding stations. And... Hm. All of them seem to be making desserts.

And all of them seem to be looking at a card at their stations.]

... Oh no.

[gangplankgalleon]

Hm? What troubles you, minion, because it has caused us to STOP!

[gradually stirring this mess, adding a jar of mayo to it.]

[boxtrot]

[Spy, with trembling hands, picks up the card at their station.]

Were you aware of the fact that we're supposed to be making a dessert. Because. This is a recipe for a PIE.