Hostile Action Trial

[mockmods]

[As you all finish investigating, an electric chime rings out across the PA system.]

I believe that should be sufficient time for you all to prepare. Assistant, please escort everyone to the trial room.

[Penny emerges from the Security office again, head down, and slowly collects everyone; she leads you all to the east side of the common room, to the short hallway between dorms B1 and A2, that’s dead ended through your entire time here. As your group approaches, the wall seamlessly slides up to reveal a hidden doorway. Passing through leads to another short hallway and a small, round room, just big enough to hold all of you. Penny passes her ID over a small pad near the doorway, and it blinks green before the room lurches slightly beneath you; an elevator going down.]

[A short trip down leads you to a larger chamber, with a series of twenty-two podiums set up in a ring; in the center is a column of computer stations with large monitors, behind a set of thick metal beams with occasional faint flashes of energy arcing between them and a constant, low hum.]

Welcome to your first trial, Participants. You will use this time to determine which among your number killed the Legendary Bassist, and send them to justice. Failure to choose the correct culprit will have dire consequences for you all.

[Trial: commence.]

Comments

[canbebeautiful]

If I'm gonna die, which I fully admit I deserve for a multitude of reasons we don't have time for here because none of them happened here, I feel like I should get a last request. Can I get a last request?

[mockmods]

You may make a request. I make no guarantees, Damaged.

[canbebeautiful]

Yeah, yeah. Just tell me: why are you doing this to her? [She gestures toward Penny.] That's just unnecessary, don't you think?

[mockmods]

I deemed an intermediary useful in dealing with you all on a physical level. Her programming proved malleable enough, and she was quite prone to offering assistance.

Her title was chosen aptly.

[canbebeautiful]

You didn't answer my question. You have like three robots here and apparently [gestures at the Large Charred Robot Friend we just have here] they're not in short supply and you pick the one who's getting fucked up by all this and erasing her memories even though we keep ours.

That just seems like an awful lot of work to have a indestructible face to your experiment.

[mockmods]

My old body was hardly suited to physical interaction, even before its current state.

Besides, I find my duties in this study much more executable when my body is this entire facility.

[canbebeautiful]

. . . That is so unspeakably creepy. [WHY IS IT ALWAYS VORE] Please never say that again.

[mockmods]

Does the truth of the situation disturb you, Damaged?

[canbebeautiful]

No, I read 1984. I know all about Big Brother. It's the fact that you said we're "inside your body" that's creepy.

[eudaimonikos]

You might be getting a little ahead of yourself. I can't exactly speak for the afterlife hooked up to this world, but if it's anything like mine, you probably don't deserve all that.

[canbebeautiful]

I'm an accomplice in three murders and I blew up my high school. [It's said extremely matter of fact, like none of this is disputable or in question.] I repeat: karma's a bitch.

[eudaimonikos]

That's not great, but many philosophers have questioned whether anything done in a mortal's lifetime can really warrant an eternity of torture.

[canbebeautiful]

So high school, but I can never graduate. Perfect. Just what I always wanted: eternity with the Heathers.

[eudaimonikos]

...actually entirely possible, yes.

[canbebeautiful]

At least I'll never have to see JD again. Small victories.

[eudaimonikos]

...you hate this guy that much, and you think he's gonna get into heaven?

[because why else would you not, at least possibly, literally see him in hell]

[canbebeautiful]

Oh, no. He's in hell, because I sent him there, but if he's being subjected to eternal torture then keeping him away from me is basically the worst thing that could ever happen to him.

[Ergo: she'll never have to see him again.]

[eudaimonikos]

Worse than butthole spiders?

[canbebeautiful]

Right now? Probably not. But in the long run he'll probably do that thing where he twists things and forget I pulled the trigger so.